It’s hard to wake up in the morning for an unfulfilling life. Perhaps, we are connected to unhealthy people and situations, or we are spending our days doing stressful things we don’t find meaningful, or we are living in survival mode and do not feel safe. One of the natural and expected consequences of too much stress and anxiety is depression; it is a physiological self-protective strategy deployed to counteract chronic hyperarousal. Therefore, depression can be an appropriate and useful response to poor life circumstances; and we don’t want to be upset with our body for reacting the way it is built to react — our body is functioning properly when it is depressed in response to a depressing life.
The symptoms of depression are distress signals (e.g., feeling sad; unmotivated; uninspired; lonely; and hopeless). Through this suffering, our body communicates important information to us about our health, encourages us to seek help and make the necessary changes to move away from patterns, people, and situations which cause us harm. Depression is meant to get your attention — like when you’re experiencing any other illness — your body provides data (symptoms), which require you to respond competently and heal. As a result, it could be a problem when we are unable to be depressed under the appropriate conditions.
Depression also hurts, so to cope we may try to numb it out, avoid being curious about what it means, and escape into habits that are counterproductive to healing. These patterns of avoidance and escapism may include some of the following: abusing substances; focusing on other people’s lives and problems; excessively blaming other people; retreating into electronics; creating chaos in our relationships; or harming ourselves and other people. This creates a cycle where depression continues to generate the conditions which cause depression. Fortunately, a lot of the time depression is within our control when we empower ourselves to make the changes necessary to bring our life back to a healthful place.
How do we unravel depression and build a life we want to live in? It is well-known that we have core survival needs for food, water, and shelter. However, it is less well-emphasized that our needs for meaning, purpose, control, autonomy, social connection, and belonging are critical for living lives that aren’t depressing even when we’re not happy all the time. Our health is the result of our ability to skillfully manage our unique constellation of needs and that’s where we want to start. One step at a time, empower yourself with the responsibility to build a life that meets your needs and you’re excited to wake up for in the morning.
Here are just a few prompts to get started:
- Be courageously curious about your life, with openness and without overly harsh judgement observe your life and collect data about what’s going well and what needs to improve (also reflect on whether the people in your life are helpful or harmful).
- Take inventory of your baseline overall health with your physician and, as necessary, establish a plan for improving health (sleep, diet, vitamin levels, exercise).
- Just like you’d seek medical attention for a fever of 104°F, depression is a warning signal to check in with a mental health professional and discuss what’s causing it and potential treatment paths. Counseling is a useful tool to clarify your values and discover ways to implement those values.
- EMOTE
Sarah Sevedge has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology and is a licensed mental health counselor in private practice.
Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as healthcare or medical information nor to diagnose or treat any disorder or condition. It does not constitute personal or professional consultation or create a therapist-client relationship.